Natalie Dormer | S Moda Magazine

Natalie Dormer | S Moda Magazine

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When someone has been abandoned a number of times, the cogs and gears that hardwire their brain clink and clank and grind until their metal casings become coarse with the wear of disappointment.

Disappointment, because the childhood friend decided one day that I was becoming someone no longer worth having by her side.

Disappointment, because the money meant to pay the month’s mortgage that my mother earned by serving tables was spent on booze and prescription pills by my unemployed father.

Disappontment, because the beautiful blue-eyed fourth-generation-college-educated girl that I’ve always deserved—sleeps at night questioning whether or not she has the emotional endurance to continue being in a long-distance relationship with a needy woman who appears to be needless in everyone else’s view.

Disappointment, because my dad wanted the family dog more than custody of his own children during the divorce negotiations.

Disappointment, because every Buffalo touchdown, every fantastical Tarantino work of butchery, every comic book, every video game—is a passion of mine passed down by my dad.

Disappointment, because everyone I love has left me—either emotionally (my mother sprouting a new family that I desperately try to love, but am always pushed to the outskirts as the one damned with having the wrong father), or physically.

Disappointment, because being abandoned is cliche and over-romanticized. You wouldn’t romanticize abandonment if you experienced it, the same way you wouldn’t romanticize suicide if you turned the back of your skull into a pink mist, leaving behind raw graffiti for the coroner to scrape off with cheap bleach.

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*puts hot laptop battery over stomach to help with period cramps*


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gonna get laid


gonna get laid

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Yeah id say my school is beautiful


Yeah id say my school is beautiful

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"Even if you come home late and I’m already asleep, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today. Because I love the way you look at the world. And I’m so happy I get to be next to you and look at the world through your eyes."

Theodore Twombly, Her (2013)

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"Please come to bed and let me see you and feel you."

Ernest Hemingway, from The Garden Of Eden  (via makelvenotwar)

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